Best of … 'Out of office' Auto-Reply

Hallole and thank you for your email. I am currently out of office with no access to my email inbox. I’ll be back on Monday, September, 14th.
If you have any urgent issues, please contact facility management or just go to the bathroom. Anything that cannot be solved in either way, cannot have been truly urgent.
If you need any other assistance regarding my work, please contact …
Keep on rockin’!