english, plapperlaplapp, TEXT

Die besten Auszüge aus dem FEMALE DICTIONARY, das mir letztens in die Mailbox geflattert ist:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game show on TV

Das MEN’S DICTIONARY sollte man ja auch nicht vernachlässigen, also …

I am hungry = I am hungry

I am tired = I am tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I’d like to have sex with you

I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay.